answers...

.
.
.
looking for answers within, that i don't even know what to look for.

things happen for sole reasons they are intended for.

same as why questions are asked, sole reason was to look for an answer...
embracing defeat to feel victory,
accepting bad things to feel the good one,
bleeding to remind you of a life that was given,
and like turning one's back at something to live its value.

my world started to spin back when the earth stopped an one point. it was marked by the death of Pope Heracleus, the Patriarch of Alexandria.

i started to realize why things are what they are, and how important it was to cherish both the good things and bad things in life. re-living the moment is useless if life's contentment only means a faked smile behind a breath full of misery.

i now have felt why i once lost and that finding the answer to a question within can only be answered by circumstances laid by God for a soul's benefit. and feel stronger for i stood for and for what i have planned.

i now feel the greatest difference of loving and being loved, that a heart must always be full of mutuality, not warm fuzzy feelings. that no matter what you do, at the end of the day, you are just another human.

i now have missed the good mornings after every good nights, and telling my self, it was all about something i had. that acceptance comes after saying the phrase what-if.

death is inevitable, irreversible, and most of all an opportunity. a chance to make the wrong things right, until one lie becomes the truth, that every glimpse make memories within, as always something new is seen to ponder on, to cherish.

after all, only then will one find an answer to an infinity of questions.

Pambihira ka pinoy... francis m.

..
Pambihira ka pinoy... francis m.

pambihira ka pinoy // walang ibang katulad mo
pambihira ka pinoy // bilib sila sa husay mo
pambihira ka pinoy // ibang klase ka talaga
pambihira ka pinoy // buhay moy mahalaga
pambihira ka pinoy // kahit kanino sasabay
pambihira ka pinoy // kapit bisig kapit kamay
pambihira ka pinoy // kakaiba ang iyong dating
pambihira ka pinoy // walang tatalo sa galing

PAMBIHIRA...
kahit kalaban mo ay mabangis // ika'y hindi bumabagsak parang presyo ng langis
PAMBIHIRA...
kahit na hikahos ay pinipilit // kahit ang ulam mo'y isang linggo nang iniinit
PAMBIHIRA...
bilib ako sa 'yong pakikibak // kahit na walang laman ang tiyan pati pitaka
PAMBIHIRA...
kung magisip matalas matalim // kawangis mo ang rosas na sa semento nakatanim
PAMBIHIRA...
tipid ka sa pagkai't inumin // pero sumasarap ang ulam pag merong panauhin
PAMBIHIRA...
ang pang-uri na dapat lang gamitin // pambihira ka pinoy sabay sabay nating awitin

pambihira ka pinoy // walang ibang katulad mo
pambihira ka pinoy // bilib sila sa husay mo
pambihira ka pinoy // ibang klase ka talaga
pambihira ka pinoy // buhay moy mahalaga
pambihira ka pinoy // kahit kanino sasabay
pambihira ka pinoy // kapit bisig kapit kamay
pambihira ka pinoy // kakaiba ang iyong dating
pambihira ka pinoy // walang tatalo sa galing

PAMBIHIRA...
sapagkat siya ay mapayapa // nagdasal sa maykapal at sa tanke ay sumagupa
PAMBIHIRA...
sa harap ng krisis ay nakangiti // nakikipagharutan at ang lakas ng kiliti
PAMBIHIRA...
ang galing nyo sa kusina at pagluto // maya't maya ay ngumunguya sa diyeta ay di natuto
PAMBIHIRA...
sa bawat problema ay di natitinag // liwanag sa dilim sa bawat araw ng pagsinag
PAMBIHIRA...
sa angkin talino mo sila ay bilib // pumapasa ka kahit ika'y hindi nakikinig
PAMBIHIRA...
mga talento mo ay umaapaw // bumubulusok isang ganap na bulalakaw

pambihira ka pinoy // walang ibang katulad mo
pambihira ka pinoy // bilib sila sa husay mo
pambihira ka pinoy // ibang klase ka talaga
pambihira ka pinoy // buhay moy mahalaga
pambihira ka pinoy // kahit kanino sasabay
pambihira ka pinoy // kapit bisig kapit kamay
pambihira ka pinoy // kakaiba ang iyong dating
pambihira ka pinoy // walang tatalo sa galing

PAMBIHIRA...
lahat ginagawan ng paraan // kahit sa butas ng karayom pilit nyang idadaan
PAMBIHIRA...
lahat napaniwala mo sa kwento mo // lahat ay napahanga sa lahat ng naimbento mo
PAMBIHIRA...
sa digmaan handang mamatay // dugong nananalaytay ay handang ialay
PAMBIHIRA...
sa husay mo lahat ay nakinabang // lahat ay natawid mo sa tulay ng kahirapan
PAMBIHIRA...
kapag inaapi ika'y tahimik // magisang nagiisip sa isang tabi wlang imik
PAMBIHIRA...
kahit walang-wala kinaya mo // kahit kulang ang bigay sa 'yo lahat pinagkasya mo

pambihira ka pinoy // walang ibang katulad mo
pambihira ka pinoy // bilib sila sa husay mo
pambihira ka pinoy // ibang klase ka talaga
pambihira ka pinoy // buhay moy mahalaga
pambihira ka pinoy // kahit kanino sasabay
pambihira ka pinoy // kapit bisig kapit kamay
pambihira ka pinoy // kakaiba ang iyong dating
pambihira ka pinoy // walang tatalo sa galing

PAMBIHIRA...
kahit mahirap ika'y nagsikap // na mapagaan ang nakadagan sa 'yong balikat
PAMBIHIRA...
sa pamamagitan ng panalangin// kahit anong suliranin ay kaya mong kalabanin
PAMBIHIRA...
talo-talo pag meron diskusyon // pero nagkakaisa pag meron rebolusyon
PAMBIHIRA...
hindi umuurong sa mga hamo // sinasalubong kahit lagpas tao na ang alon
PAMBIHIRA...
ang hilig sa balot At asucena // pambihira umibig kaya anak mo'y 'san dosena

pambihira ka pinoy ... walang ibang katulad mo ...
pambihira ka pinoy ... bilib sila sa husay mo ...
pambihira ka pinoy ... ibang klase ka talaga ...
pambihira ka pinoy ... buhay moy mahalaga ...
pambihira ka pinoy ... kahit kanino sasabay ...
pambihira ka pinoy ... kapit bisig kapit kamay...
pambihira ka pinoy ... kakaiba ang iyong dating ...
pambihira ka pinoy ... walang tatalo sa galing ...

PAMBIHIRA...

Random thought

.
Random thought.

love for many, have always been a dedication, a covenant; one of the hardest matter to create, and the easiest to break. It has always been the meaning of balance, that can tip the scale of a life, and a life's worth...

Love as what it seemed, is a mystery, that conquer all multitudes of sin and pain. That even if it inflicts pain, you keep asking for more, not caring how and why, you just have to have a piece of that. Everything starts somewhere, and ends somewhere most of the time, and having thoughts of fullfilment is just immortal. Loving can make a slave out of a king, moutains rumble to the ground, as well as put the seas on fire. It can challenge immortality and the sands of time, yet it is the simplest matter the work can ever offer.

To love is learning how to balance, too much love can tip the scale as much as too less love does. Loving is a responsibility and a privilage, yet it is both a blessing and a curse. It is a gamble that everyone plays, many looses, yet in the lose, everyone merges as a winner.

Better yet to have loved then lost, than never to have loved; like what I said, it is a privilage. Love is the true meaning of sacrifice, that there is no greater love than sacrifice and to love unconditionally, is the true meaning of sacrifice.

F - Y - Y - F - F

.
Yeah you!!!

Phuck You You Phucking Phuckers... at phucking last i can phucking say that with an open face ahahahaha.

well nothing much, fixya just welcomed me back. so expect another bum working hard for something important :)

Day 87... it's getting deeper.

.
Very deep...

The darkness somehow gave out new light that made things more clear for me. I still had the same issues dealing with the intro of the song, and tend to keep it that way until I'm fulfilled.

" It's the 53rd day of my 232-day journey to nowhere and i somehow see a light to where i am supposed to be "

This time things are getting brighter and shapes are getting visible. I'm starting to realize what is the essence of being wrong in the right time and being right at the wrong time. It really sets the balance between faith and dedication. Faith that you can do good with your best, dedication that you know you get to do it again tomorrow, better, the day after that.

Being in-love is one thing, staying in-love is another. Much like your passion for sport, i love mountain biking, and i climb the same mountain everyday. Sometimes, seeing the same stuff, doing the same thing is boring, but looking at the results of that makes me go back out tomorrow and do it again.

A relationship is much like mountain biking on a new mountain. You start slow with a low gear, then work your way up to the peak for a few runs. Few stops are needed to catch your breath, some rest, massage and some water. Once you get used to that mountain, you rather move to a higher gear instead of moving to another mountain for another challenge since you already know the way and the mood of the path.

You just have to find new ways to make it work and not find another. You may also go for another trail, but still you are in the same mountain, all pointing out to leaving your comfort zone but not leaving the mountain.

Question is why? Well here are some thoughts:

You respect the wrath of nature.
You know the road well.
If a storm comes, you know the limit of the trail.
Better priced success when you reach the peak.
You can have anyone ride along with you, and you still feel that the mountain was made for you.

- much like loving the place just because you need it, but needing the place because you love it.

Against all odds, not even a hail storm will prevent you from not riding your mountain, much like faith and dedication.

What is this phuck all about? go figure :) like what i said, random thoughts.

Saying no to acoholic beverages...

Yep, that's the phuckin culprit that ruined my day. Had purfect runs, but why did I have to say "yess" to my cousin wanting to get boozed...

It started with an after-shift ride to my hometown to fetch my niece, mom and little sister. Okay lets cut the sh!t, I had about 3 liters of this horse and got so wasted, I cannot even focus my vision on anything. BUT, had to go to work so had a 4-hour sleep, got geared up then ride to work. Once in i had a cup of hot noodle soup, beef, then a bottle of Gatorade plus tums, to kill the hangover. Then it happened, I puked, much like this guy right here (Guy) but not his guy (Guy again). It was scary because I puked green goo, much like this one (Green Goo)

Funny this is that I puked all the contents of my body that i got hungry, ate then puked again. So lesson learned, when the label says EXTRA STRONG with a horse on the logo, believe in it...

Goodbye March, I'm Looking forward to a new April.

April

Just a head's up on what's about to come. well, my life is never a surprise, but I'm proud about the small things I can do and do well.

So here's the masterplan:

1. LESS to no alcohol intake.
2. MORE sports, less diet.
3. MORE focus on personal responsibilities.
4. MORE for solutions and not problems.
5. LESS dedication to work and office.
6. MORE income.
7. LESS gastos!!!
8. ...

More or less, this is like a new-year's resolution. My December and January may have not been the best, but I'm making it my stepping stone to re-evaluate life in Jan , Feb and March. So here comes April, this may be my month, my time to shine one more time. Eitherway, others may be unhappy with what I do in life, but this is me, all me.

More to come this April.

Poor Pizza

The day was so freakin' slow, then Paul sent me the video...




Poor Pizza...

Dead Air...

Okay, time to laugh...

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is . . .
TEACHER: No, Millie . .. .. Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right . . . 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Airsoft

Im adjusting my hobbies from .22LR to Airsoft BB Guns. Upgrade or not, i guess shooting someone is still fun. Wether you kill them or not :)

Back to where I started...

Waiting for my rocket to come...

I really can't imagine, how a pea-brain can cause tons of damage and make more than enough surprises a lifetime can offer. So yeah, i never thought it would come across me again, it's like eating a peach that is not yet ripe, it will taste so phucking bad that you don't want to have a taste of that ever again.

It's the 53rd day of my 232-day journey to nowhere and i somehow see a light to where i am supposed to be. you know, if you have killed someone 10 years ago, you would still be reminded of something you did a decade ago and somewhat surrender to the cops because it is killing you. Nostalgic in a way, but justice just have to make it's way through, one way or the other. that faith means to believe that all things will go to its rightful place.

In finding myself, i got more lost, it's like finding you way up a river, then ended up swimming in the middle of the ocean. God really has many ways to make you learn, but if this is not really a part of his plan for me, I'd be so pissed.

Me writing in a rude manner may have been a result of not riding my bike for 3 days now. anyway, off i go, have to take some trip picture for keeps.

Playing God

Well all's well with my new shout-out.

I'm playing God, now that I have myself to work on. God made man one day, now I'm trying to make a new man out of what he did. To start, I'm making sure everything is firm and making all thinkings like a man. All decisions made is a decision made and I should live by it like a man. Good or bad, I have to learn to stand by my own word. I'm 90% sober, once i am, I will make every bit of my time count. Giving one self a chance is great if you do not have the responsibility of choosing what is good or not for you. I'm letting everything come at will, taking out all the negative vibes and accepting only positive vibes.

Here comes the sun...

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

Putting everything in chaos to find order

First, hoooray for Pres. Barack Obama.

Well having him up there just did not do anything for me, well so far. So far I'm happy and contented with what I currently have, still digging a hole for my past and find the tunnel back up.

I have no room for dilemma because I know I made a matured decision.So what if they won't like it, if not then they should live with it.

Claiming glory from a victorious defeat

Claiming glory from a victorious defeat... Deep thought from a shallow mind. Yep, that's me after making love with a cheese grater. Why with a cheese grater? Well it's just painful yet fulfilling in a way.

Love

Well I'm getting used to one-phrase titles thingy...

Here are some definitions of the word from dead people.

Love covers over a multitude of sins. — Peter 4:8

The more you judge, the less you love. - Honoré de Balzac

If a thing loves, it is infinite. — William Blake

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. — Samuel Butler

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in. — Rachel Carson

Love not what you are, but what you may become. — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

In our life there is a single colour, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the colour of love. — Marc Chagall

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost. — G. K. Chesterton

A loving heart is the truest wisdom. — Charles Dickens

The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists. — Charles Dickens

He who is in love is wise and is becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

A mind might ponder its thought for ages, and not gain so much self-knowledge as the passion of love shall teach in a day. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there’s love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong. — Ella Fitzgerald

All work is empty save when there is love. — Kahlil Gibran

We are shaped and fashioned by what we love. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The unspoken factor is love. The reason I can work so hard at my writing is that it’s not work for me. — John Irving

We invent what we love, and what we fear. — John Irving

The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with objects it loves. — Carl Gustav Jung

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. — Helen Keller

Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't even have to make your subject and verb agree to serve...You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. — Martin Luther King

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it. — Martin Luther King

If you have love, you will do all things well. — Thomas Merton

What’s often in your heart is the hardest to reach. — George Harrison

Understand. Love. Create. That’s all. — David Morgan

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go into the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. — Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. — Friedrich Nietzsche

The heart has its reason that reason cannot know. — Blaise Pascal

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. — Plato

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. — Bertrand Russell

First, you have to have fun. Second, you have to put love where your labour is. Third, you have to go in the opposite direction to everyone else. — Anita Roddick

To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better. — William Shakespeare

What’s done is done. The joy is in the doing. — William Shakespeare

Love is not love when it alteration finds. — William Shakespeare

Love that well which thou must leave ere long. — William Shakespeare

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind. — William Shakespeare

The course of true love never did run smooth. — William Shakespeare

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. — William Shakespeare

They do not love that do not show their love. — William Shakespeare

Then must you speak Of one that lov'd not wisely but too well. — William Shakespeare

True love in this differs from gold and clay, that to divide is not to take away. Love is like understanding, that grows bright, gazing on many truths. — Percy Bysse Shelley

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; that word is love. - Sophocles

In order to create there must be a dynamic force, and what force is more potent than love. — Igor Stravinsky

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. — Mother Theresa

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. — Mother Theresa

There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love. — Mother Theresa

There is no remedy for love but to love more. — Henry David Thoreau

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. — Leo Tolstoy

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. — Mark Twain

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others. — Vincent van Gogh

Love conquers all things. — Virgil

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. — Voltaire

Lost

How will you define being lost? Should it be one thing that you cannot find, something that you cannot have, someone you have no idea where they are? or you, standing in the middle of no where, confused on where you are and where you must be...

Well that is where i am right now, in the middle of no where, pretending to know this is my turf and my lair. Pretending that i know where i am and where to go, pretending that i am not lost. I was trying to choose from one point to another, much like being south then wanting to go for east or west. Imagine having 2 choices and thinking you had a million to choose from, that the pressure build up just made you quit and go for some "alone" time. That you know being alone leaves you vulnerable from any element of this God forsaken earth.

Happiness is one thing that no one can never have forever. Joy and happiness had the greatest difference in my life, and all the time i thought they are one and the same. Joy is when you felt secure, comfortable and loved by someone you like. Happiness on the other hand is when you feel fulfilled because you felt joy that someone needs you. I felt both and never bothered checking the difference and the balance of right and wrong. When you are overwhelmed with love, you will never bother knowing what you have until they are gone.

Blake said that it was better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. He may have never experienced loosing someone he loved and realizing the lose after they are gone. A saint said that someone that loves is infinite because love covers all multitude of sin, yet he never realized having to sin while trying to look for a love that was lost. Many great minds have tried speaking of love even before they experience the feeling of being lost from a love that was.

Being lost can be a hurdle for growth and at the same time an act of punishment. Being lost will open up your mind on finding ways to go to where you should be, blindfolded. You'll be traveling through unknown terrain that all you have is faith to bring you back to where you should be. Along the way, you realize that there are reason you need to find and answers to questions you have to ask...